hehe... sooo happy... she juz called me.. hehe.. from vietnam! yep.. soooooo happy to juz hear her voice.. hehehe.. cant believe she would call me.. i am seriously exhilerated.. hahaz.. i am gonna slp well tonite!! nitez everyone!!!

; TURNING INSANE ON 29.11.03

yoyoz.. im back here again.. hmmm.. will be working tml.. i will work hard.. hehe.. this time my work will be for her bdae present.. hehe.. my last pay was for my new phone.. hmmm... should be getting it by this week or so.. haiz.. cant wait till sunday.. missing her so much.. hahaz.. although it has been only 4 days.. it seemed like more den a week.. hahaz.. this 8 days feels like a month.. hahaz.. nvm.. it will come soon.. den i will be able to see her.. hehe.. and i am gettin my phone phone!!! WOOT!

; TURNING INSANE ON 26.11.03

elloz everyone!! hehe.. finally changed my song.. currently its you light up my life by debbie moone... i put up this song cuz she light up my life.. hehe.. hmmm.. 1 and a half days haf past.. got 6 and a half more day to go.. cant wait to hear her voice and see her again.. hehe.. hmmm.. going to work on this thurs to sunday.. hope time passes faster.. hmmm.. i shall go play my game now! bye bye!

; TURNING INSANE ON 24.11.03

hehe.. happy day today.. dun ask me i will not say.. its for me to noe and for u ppl to find out.. hehe.. hmmmm.. i not going for the bsc thing again.. i seriously haf no affinity wif bsc man.. hmmm.. 8 days.. hafta wait till next sunday.. for wt?? i wont tell u.. hehe.. i will change my song tml..tinking of what song to change to.. hmmm.. well rest well everyone!! nite nite!!!

; TURNING INSANE ON 22.11.03

yoz.. blogging at this kind of time.. hahaz.. cuz i am soooooo bored.. life seems so mundane now.. i seriously should consider being a monk... hahaz.. was hoping to see her on last time before she leave for vietnam.. but i guess she wouldnt want to anyway.. hahaz.. didnt hafta tell me so many reasons.. hahaz.. juz say u r not free and i will understand.. i always understand everyone.. no one understands me though.. i seriously wish i could disappear from this world.. would feel all these stupid feelings... am tinking too much again.. suxor.... bye eveyone..

; TURNING INSANE ON 19.11.03

yoz.. full!! i am so full.. hahaz.. ate so much,, today's dinner was fun.. ate at cine yaki no yuki or sumthing lahz.. cannot remember.. hahaz.. was realli nice place to eat.. hahaz.. get to make ur own ice cream.. yep. make ur ice cream.. they gif u the cream.. den u make the ice.. hahaz.. ate wif her.. hahaz.. den when we were going home we were stalked!! by mr god bless.. hahaz.. he is some guy hu likes jm ever since primary sch.. hahaz.. he was like asking her if she was going home wif her bf.. omg man.. den he called her and asked her to say hi to me????!?!? wth man.. hahaz.. as if i noe him.. freaky.. hahaz.. his name is micheal.. hahaz.. xue jun.. tats wat jm calls him.. as for me i call him mr god bless... cuz he keeps telling jm god bless god bless. hahaz.. so i call him tat.. lol..

Miss the way you hold my hand,
where i felt like i was touched by an angel.
miss the way you hug me,
which made me i felt like i was home..

; TURNING INSANE ON 17.11.03

yoz bloggie.. hahaz.. long time no see.. was busy.. shagged. hahaz.. msged adel., some gal i know from work.. hahaz.. she works for starhub.. older den me.. hahaz.. my cousin intersted in her.. lol.. haiz.. sianz.. nothing to do
work sux.. not working sux too.. haiz.. hahaz.. life sux without the person in ur heart.. lol..

; TURNING INSANE ON

I really need someone.. work is killing me.. not the workload.. juz the politics.. I HATE EVERYONE!!! i am falling apart.. hahaz.. going insane.. if someone is here to save me, please do it quick.. before it is too late.....

Your beauty is beyond the highest hills i can climb

; TURNING INSANE ON 13.11.03

one word.. down.. tats how i feel.. i dun wanna tok abt it.. no one noes y.. hahaz.. i rather keep it to myself.. no one ever cares anyway.. hahaz.. it is my own burden.. yep.. hahaz.. haiz.. ill go brood over it now.. bye..

; TURNING INSANE ON

hahaz.. went through another day of work.. ah.. today was quite gud.. the day passed pretty quickly.. even so.. im still shagged.. shes havin her presentation tml.. hope everything turns out well!! GAMBATTE! if i nv spell wrongly.. hahaz.. jia you!! hahaz.. i shall go rest now.. veri veri tiredz.. tml will be another tiring day.. bye everyone!

; TURNING INSANE ON 12.11.03

yoz.. morning everyone.. one word... SHAGGED!! hahaz.. stood for 10 HOURS! YES 10 HOURS! hahaz.. no break.. juz pure standing..like not tiring.. hahaz.. today its the same again.. wat keeps me going is the the little msg i sent to her.. hahaz.. seeing her replies juz cheers me up.. i am a veri easily satisfied guy huh? hahaz.. even jeremy said so.. hahaz.. to me, all i want is to be able to hear her voice see her face.. to be able to hug her kiss her.. hahaz.. this is enuf.. hahaz.. and hope her pw turns out well :) ill go play a while of gunbound den i shall go to work.. hahaz.. bye everyone

; TURNING INSANE ON

yoyoz.. sunday now.. hahaz.. tml no sch.. going to catch matrix reloaded.. hmmm.. den i start work on tues work everyday till sunday.. hahaz.. selling computers for benq.. only work for 1 week.. should be okae.. hahahz.. aiya dun work oso nothing to do.. hahaz.. life realli seem so meaningless.. hahaz.. haf nothing to do.. nothin.. dun even haf the person i love most by my side.. hahaz.. wonder wat i can do now.. wat can i do now...

; TURNING INSANE ON 9.11.03

hahaz.. today was impromtu day man.. hahaz.. went jb out of nowhere! hahaz.. den went to meet her.. hahaz.. do wat? do nothing.. ahhaz.. and i found out tat eating 20 pieces of mac nuggets is sickening.. hahaz.. 20 pieces man.. eat until can die.. hahaz.. today jeremy pung sei us.. hahaz.. den cam home played gb wif bird, peon and her.. hahaz.. fun.. even though we lost quite a few times.. ahhaz.. haiz.. missing her a lot man.. hahaz.. she is a ROM.. read only.. hahaz.. computer pro.. hahaz.. so sianz.. tinking how will it be like if i am back wif her.. i dun mind risking it all to do so.. hahaz.. i tink ill go off now.. tiredz from all the walking.. hahaz

; TURNING INSANE ON 7.11.03

hahaz.. had my last paper today.. haf nothing else to do.. wonder what can i commit myself to during the hols.. went out wif my class today.. hahaz.. we did mostly walking around and playing pool.. hahaz.. anyway gud exercise.. better den rotting away at home.. hmmm.. she havin her chinese paper tml.. hopes she does well..hahaz.. all i can do is pray for her.. GOD BLESS.. hahahz.. she hates when people tell her tat.. maybe not people, juz tat someone.. hahaz.. sianz.. realli lost mood for everything manz.. hahaz.. i tink i going to sleep soon.. wonder what ill be doing tml.. hope there is something fun to do.. now tat i haf time.. i haf nothing to do.. hahaz.. haiz.. im the first leave the exam hall today again.. hahaz.. i mean from my class.. for the past 4 papers i was the first to leave.. cuz i haf nothing to write.. ahhaz.. nv study hard.. juz hope i can pass.. not asking for more.. hahaz.. monster uncle was telling me xiao mei left me cuz i got no cheng jiu and i stupid.. hahaz.. he was juz joking.. but even so, i think he is right.. ahaz..

; TURNING INSANE ON 6.11.03

hahaz.. juz read her blog.. argh.. cant stop wondering hu just a voice is.. haiz.. she always says follow your heart.. hahaz.. haiz.. i guess u wont ever noe how much a person means to you until you lose him or her.. you wont notice it until it is gone.. hahaz.. got this from her nick.. something liddat lahz.. miss those times wif me her jeremy and don.. hahaz.. guess wont be seeing those times anymore.. hahaz.. its raining.. suits my mood now.. cover your blankets everyone and dun catch a cold.. hahaz.. nite nitez

; TURNING INSANE ON 5.11.03

juz now was at katong shopping centre.. hahaz.. playing pool.. was there den tink of her.. wondering if she was still in sch.. hahaz.. nvm.. todays paper was erm.. nvm.. i dun feel like toking abt anything.. juz not in the mood to tok.. tml going out wif my class.. hope we are not going shopping man.. hahaz.. but juz haf this strong feeling tat we will do juz so.. cuz most of my class ppl are gals.. hahaz.. tml is last paper.. finally.. hahaz.. today i play pool oso sianz.. hahaz..still wondering hu is just a voice.. hahaz.. juz now at the pool place wanted to msg her.. hahaz.. see if she was in sch.. but i gues she wouldnt wanna see me if she was there.. hahaz.. hmmm.. I WANNA WATCH MATRIX RELOADED!@!@ IT OPENS TONITE!! i bet everyone is watching it.. hahaz.. bye ppl..

; TURNING INSANE ON

yoz.. hahaz.. here i am in my lonliest time of the day.. hahaz.. and i am toking to my bloggie.. hahaz.. tinking whether i should shave bald.. not realli bald.. but as in ns kinda bald.. cuz i dun feel like combing my hair anymore.. and looking nice for anyone.. hahaz.. if they are frenz wif me.. they wouldnt care how i look.. if they like me, they muz like me for hu i am anyway.. hahaz.. seriously feel like cutting.. lemme spend a few days to tink it over.. nite nitez bloggie.. realli glad tat there is one place i can always turn to.. :)

; TURNING INSANE ON 4.11.03

erm.. first things first.. who ever you are just a voice. if u are my fren.. pls state hu u are.. if not later ppl tink i so desperate tat i fake as someone else to get her back.. hahaz.. today kept tinking of..... nvm.. its everyday anyway.. jeremy asked me something today.. he ask me how i can keep smiling when i am wif jm.. hahaz.. i dun even noe tat.. juz tat when i am wif her.. nothing else matters anymore. ill juz smile without knowing it..
he also ask me.. haf jm ever see how sad i was b4.. hahaz.. i dun tink its only her.. i tink veri veri little ppl haf seen me at my sadest point.. hahaz.. i guess u nv noe how important a person to u until something bad and drastic happens to u.. he was telling me his parents love each other not because of the gud times they were together.. they love each other by looking back at all the hard times they haf went through togehter.. hahaz.. tat was like so sweet.. i guess human's are like this.. only know what u haf when u lose it huh... and only when something bad happens den u will noe hu cares for u the most.. i tink at tat point in time, it would haf been too late.. time waits for no one.. guess tat is juz how things works.. hahaz.. ill juz go off now.. dun wanna say no more... i bet u all are all bored of all this by now.. hahaz.. and just a voice.. i really hope to noe hu u are if u are reading my blog...

; TURNING INSANE ON

4pm - Sukiyaki

It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away, now my life is just a rainy day
And I love you so, how much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely

Untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me
Another love so true
That once turned all my gray skies blue
But you disappeared
Now my eyes are filled with tears
And I'm wishing you were here with me

Soft with love are my thoughts of you
Now that you're gone
I just don't know what to do

If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine once again
You'd be mine all mine
But in reality, you and I will never be
'Cause you took your love away from me

Girl, I don't know what I did
To make you leave me
But what I do know
Is that since you've been gone
There's such an emptiness inside
I'm wishing you'd come back to me

If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine once again
You'd be mine all mine
But in reality, you and I will never be
'Cause you took your love away from me

Oh, baby, you took your love away from me.

; TURNING INSANE ON

here i sit.. tears flowing down my cheek.. hahaz.. this is my most vulnerable time of the day.. where i am the most lonely.. hahaz.. how come mankind is like this? haiz.. the grass is always greener on the other side i guess.. i haf no more mood to do anyting else.. ill go sleep now i guess.. i guess i make a veri bad boyfriend.. i can lose my gf to a guy in less den a week! hahaz.. juz f*ck me.. hahaz.. what worse can happen.. im oready a bit deaf liaoz.. what can happen? get knocked down by a car and br crippled? tat will be the day i will seriously laugh at myself.. how can someone be such a loser in life.. im juz a loser i guess.. i sux at everything.. unlike ppl can swim well.. can study well.. haiz.. love and care doesnt realli matter huh? What matters den? Fame? Money? Looks? so it all boils down to all these.. im juz a poor poly boy, hu did some of the worse thing someone can tink of.. hahaz.. hu will ever love me.. hahahahz... nitez everyone.. i suck

; TURNING INSANE ON

hahaz.. doubt she will change her decision.. i noe everyone will be scolding me to ask her if she wanna patch.. but i wanna be true to myself.. ppl were scolding me stupid for still loving her.. but i see nothing stupid abt loving someone wif all your heart.. even if it means u wont get anythiong in return and tat she will make you sad..
in the past 4 months.. ive been smiling in front of my frenz.. putting up a false front.. so tat ppl around me would be happy.. hahaz.. maybe sometimes i was realli happy.. enjoying myself.. but it is only for a short while.. after everyone goes.. ill go off alone.. hiding in a world of my own.. crying my heart out.. shedding my tears.. even my family members dont noe abt this.. ill juz hide alone.. in my bed.. when everyone is asleep.. no one ever understands.. keep giving me advice.. haf u ever been in my shoes?? ppl having high expectations of u? but i realli dun care!!@!@! i wish i am a retard.. dun noe about anything.. bet she doesnt realli care what happens to me anyway.. she says she still loves me.. but not enuf.. hahaz.. haiz.. love is all about risks isnt it? nvm.. she wouldnt change her mind no matter how many times she tells me she would tink abt it.. haiz..

You are the painter of your life,
not your friends or family,
but you can never pain a perfect picture can you?

; TURNING INSANE ON 3.11.03

hahaz.. in sch now.. juz chatted with her.. juz read her blog.. she says she tinks of me.. hahaz.. wonder if its true.. i juz noe i am suffering here.. if she is suffering too.. y cant we go back together? haiz.. we are so near.. yet so far apart.. realli hate this.. y cant we get back together?? WHY? haiz.. nvm.. only time can tell.. haiz..

; TURNING INSANE ON

hahaz.. not coming online for long.. cuz my bro is using the com.. juz came online to blog.. today was supposed to go out wif terence and py.. ahhaz.. den i ask jm.. tot she was asking them.. hahaz.. but in the end she tot i ask them, and i tot vice versa.. hahaz..in the end no one informed ter and py.. hahaz.. den juz left the 2 of us.. what irony huh? hahaz.. watch a movie.. matchstick men.. hmm.. it was quite nice.. hahaz.. story line was cool.. den we went to eat at the ps food court.. den went to get my notes from jeremy.. den after tat i went to eat ya kun kaya toast! hahaz.. damn nice man.. hahahz.. den as usual sent her home.. hahaz.. she was napping on the bus.. so tempting to juz hug her, gif her a peck on her cheek.. hahaz.. do i really love her so much.. haiz.. hahaz.. realli wish i can be back wif her again.. haiz.. Why am i thinking abt all this again.. she will nv come back to me.. hahaz..

Jiemin: EH YOU OWE ME 5 BUCKS~!~! hahaz.. juz kidding.. lalala

; TURNING INSANE ON 2.11.03

today was an okae day.. hahaz.. met some of my frenz.. relali cool ppl.. hahaz.. got one buaya, one lamer guy, one satanic guy, one wrestling crazy guy,one computer gaming crazy guy, hahaz... went walking around everywhere.. was pretty fun even though i couldnt realli hear.. this seriously sux man.. cant hear..
oh yah.. WTF MAN!! wat did min min tell her ex man.. he told my fwen to tell me to zhi dong in sch???!?@?!@?! WAT THE FARK dies he mean by tat?? this better not farking happen again.. wat the fark is wrong wif him man.. farking hell.. nnb..........

; TURNING INSANE ON 1.11.03

hahaz.. its so painful man.. the throbbing pain!! argh.. dun tink i can sleep well again tonite.. I WANT A HUG!! hahaz.. ill go hug myself.. lalala.. hahaz.. hope it gets well b4 exams man. if not ill sure die.. haiz.. god is seriously playing a trick on me.. if there was ever a god up there.. why the fark muz u do this to me? hahaz.. im going crazy liaoz.. too much in my head.. lalala...........

; TURNING INSANE ON